Manners

Japanese Everyday Mannerisms – 1987

In 1987, these were so ingrained that even little kids copied them without thinking.

1. Bowing

   • Standard greeting: 15–30° bow when meeting anyone (colleagues, shop staff, neighbors).

   • Deeper 45° bow to teachers, bosses, customers, elders.

   • People bowed on the phone (yes, even though the other person couldn’t see it).

   • Two people often bowed repeatedly while saying “sumimasen” or “shitsurei shimasu” until one backed away.

2. Language levels (keigo)

   • Everyone switched to polite -masu form with strangers, seniors, customers.

   • Office workers used extra-respectful kenjōgo/honorific sonkeigo with bosses and clients all day.

   • Even close friends dropped to plain form only in private.

3. Apologizing for everything

   • “Sumimasen” used for: thanking, getting attention, bumping someone, receiving a gift, being late 30 seconds, etc.

   • Trains late by 1 minute → station master on platform bowing deeply with loudspeaker apology.

4. Shoes rules

   • Took shoes off instantly at every house, ryokan, some restaurants, school, dojo, etc.

   • Shoes neatly lined up pointing outward.

   • Separate indoor slippers; separate toilet slippers (biggest etiquette crime: forgetting to change).

5. Gift-giving obsession

   • O-kaeshi (return gifts) had to be exactly half the value of the original gift.

   • Summer ochūgen and year-end oseibo gifts to bosses/teachers/doctors — department stores had huge gift floors in July and December.

6. Train and subway behavior

   • Perfect lines at platform marks.

   • No eating, no loud talking, no phone calls (flip phones just starting, but already considered rude).

   • Salarymen gave seats to elderly/pregnant instantly.

7. Chopstick manners

   • Never stick chopsticks upright in rice (looks like funeral incense).

   • Never pass food chopstick-to-chopstick (funeral ritual).

   • Never point or wave chopsticks.

8. Business card ritual

   • Both hands to give, both hands to receive, slight bow, read it carefully before putting away (never in back pocket).

9. Public bathing (sentō/onsen)

   • Wash completely before entering the tub.

   • No swimsuits, no tattoos (yakuza association).

   • Small towel on head or held in front (never in the water).

10. General small habits

    • Slurp noodles loudly (shows it’s delicious).

    • Cover mouth when using toothpick.

    • Never blow nose at the table (step away).

    • Say “itadakimasu” before eating, “gochisōsama” after.

    • Knock twice, then open doors saying “shitsurei shimasu.”

    • When pouring drinks (especially alcohol), pour for others first, hold bottle with two hands, receive glass with two hands.

In 1987, doing all these correctly was simply “being a proper Japanese person.” Foreigners who managed even half were praised to death.