Billy No-Beard

**\[Chorus – Call and Response]**

**Lead:**

Ohhh Billy No-Beard, cursed from birth!

**Crew:**

*NO BEARD AT ALL, FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH!*

**Lead:**

He sailed the seas in search o’ fuzz,

**Crew:**

*BUT ALL HE GREW WAS LINT N’ BUZZ!*

**All:**

So raise yer cup and shave yer chin,

For Billy No-Beard can’t grow one in!

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**\[Verse 1]**

Now Billy was born on a windy tide,

With a squintin’ eye an’ chest puffed wide.

He said, “I’ll be feared from reef to rock!”

But he couldn’t even sprout a whiskered lock!

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**\[Chorus – Rowdier]**

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**\[Verse 2]**

He tried some grease from a Kavari cook,

Then rubbed in ink from a squid he took.

He even glued a cat to his chin—

'Til it clawed his lips and jumped right in!

**\[Verse 3]**

He challenged a captain with a beard like rope,

Said, “I'll shave it off an’ give folks hope!”

But his blade slipped wild in a drunken spin,

And he shaved his eyebrow, not his chin!

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**\[Chorus – Add boot stomps]**

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**\[Verse 4]**

The sirens laughed when he passed their shore,

“Come back when ye’ve a beard we adore!”

So he stuffed his hat with barnacle hair—

But the smell alone sank half the air!

**\[Verse 5 – Finale]**

So here’s to Billy, bold and bald,

His face forever baby-smooth called.

But still he sails, proud and loud,

With a chin like soap and a voice so proud!

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**\[Final Chorus – Shouted with gusto]**

**Lead:**

Ohhh Billy No-Beard, brave and bare!

**Crew:**

*BRAVE AND BARE WITH NARY A HAIR!*

**Lead:**

He shaves no more, 'cause there’s none to trim,

**Crew:**

*AND HE’S PROUDEST OF HIS CHIN-SKIN SKIM!*

**All:**

So hoist yer mug, let laughter ring—

For Billy No-Beard is still the king!