“Don't Blink—You Might Miss Your Own Future!”
Attention, Citizens! As our glorious Vault expands to accommodate more history, the Master of Seconds reminds us that "Reality is a Work in Progress." Occasionally, the sheer volume of perfection causes a minor Temporal Flux—otherwise known as Anomalies.
If you find yourself in a situation where the laws of physics are taking a "scheduled break," do not panic! Panic causes your heart to race, which can lead to desynchronization. Simply consult this guide to staying "Current."
⌛ THE SLOW-STEPS (LATENCY ZONES): Have you ever felt like you were walking through invisible syrup? You aren't getting tired; you’ve just entered a Dilated Sector!
The Fix: Continue moving forward. To an outside observer, you look like a statue, but to you, the world is moving at 1,000 miles per hour! Enjoy the view—it’s a great time for a nap.
✨ THE "BLINK-AND-BOUND" OBJECTS: Did your favorite coffee mug vanish, only to reappear three hours later—still steaming—in the exact same spot?
The Truth: Your mug didn't move; the time around it did! We call this "Spontaneous Repurposing." If your bed disappears while you are sleeping, please remain in a prone position. It will return shortly.
👤 (UNKNOWN ENTITIES): If you see a translucent figure wearing a uniform from a timeline you don't recognize , or if you see yourself walking around a corner five seconds before you actually get there, stay calm!
The Rule: DO NOT attempt to shake hands with your future self. It creates a "Feedback Loop" that is very difficult to scrub out of the carpets.
🌫️ THE INFINITY LOOP: Occasionally, hallways may stretch to infinite lengths or lead back to the door you just exited.
The Solution: This is just the Vault’s way of encouraging more exercise! Keep walking and eventually, the geometry will remember its manners.
"Reports of 'Shadow People' whispering 'Help us' or 'The glass is breaking' are officially classified as Aural Hallucinations caused by low-grade steam inhalation. If you hear the walls talking, please report to the Spire for a quick ear-drum calibration."
"If you disappear today, we look forward to seeing you yesterday! Chronos keeps the clock, even when the hands fall off!"