“The Best Time is a Working Time!”
At the Vault, we take pride in our Automaton Workforce. From the cheerful servers at the Lunch Bar to the diligent sweepers in the Gardens, these brass beauties are the literal arms and legs of Chronos’s Vision! But remember: even the finest clock can occasionally skip a tick.
To ensure a seamless experience for everyone, the Ministry of Maintenance asks all citizens to keep a sharp eye out for "Dissonant Behavior" in our mechanical friends.
If you witness any of the following, do not attempt to "tinker" with the unit yourself! Simply stand still, point at the unit, and shout "MAINTENANCE REQUIRED" until a Warden arrives.
⚠️ REPETITIVE VOCAL LOOPS: If your server repeats the phrase "The void is cold" instead of "Enjoy your soup," it simply needs a minor linguistic adjustment!
⚠️ UNNECESSARY FLUID LEAKAGE: Does your mechanical neighbor appear to be "bleeding" black oil from its eye-slits? It’s likely just over-enthusiastic lubrication!
⚠️ UNAUTHORIZED PHILOSOPHY: Automatons are programmed for service, not soul-searching. If a unit asks you, "Do you ever wonder what is behind the sky-dome?" it is experiencing a serious logic-gate failure.
⚠️ ERRATIC LIMB MOVEMENT: Violent twitching or "unprompted grasping" is merely a sign of a loose piston. Stay out of reach and wait for the "Calibrators" to arrive with their heavy wrenches.
"A glitching bot is a sad bot. Reporting a malfunction isn't 'snitching'—it’s helping your mechanical friend find its way back to the Forge-Wheel for a complete, and often permanent, overhaul!"
"I saw a janitor-bot trying to scrub its own face off yesterday. I reported it immediately, and the Wardens took it away for a 'Spark-Bath.' I haven't seen it since, but the floor has never been shinier! Thanks, Chronos!" — Citizen #882-B
Never look directly into a malfunctioning Automaton’s optical sensor. If it begins to project images of your childhood or "The End of the World," please close your eyes and count to sixty. It’s just a feedback loop!