Here is the d100 Table of Golden State Grievances for San Diablos.
These events are designed to capture the specific horror of "The West Coast," where the sun tries to kill you and everyone is desperately trying to sell you a screenplay.
The San Diablos "Vibe Check" Table (d100)
01-20: The 404 Freeway (Traffic & Transport)
* 01: The Eternal Merge. The lane lines vanish. All 20 lanes must merge into one. The car that merges last explodes.
* 02: The GPS voice changes to the player's mother’s voice, criticizing their driving and life choices.
* 03: A "Lane Splitter" (a demon on a flaming unicycle) knocks the side mirror off the party's vehicle.
* 04: The traffic comes to a dead stop. People get out of their cars and start a impromptu yoga class on the asphalt.
* 05: A billboard flashes a personalized message: "You're going to be late. And nobody loves you."
* 06: The car next to the players is a self-driving car that has gained sentience and is screaming for help.
* 07: Surge Pricing. The toll road fee jumps to 500 Credits or "One Firstborn Child" due to heavy traffic.
* 08: A "Student Driver" sticker is on a tank that is crushing smaller cars.
* 09: The radio gets stuck on a commercial for "1-800-GOT-JUNK-SOULS." It cannot be turned off.
* 10: A police chase passes by at 5 mph. The police are on segways.
* 11: The players hit a pothole that is actually a portal to the DMV waiting room.
* 12: A driver cuts the party off, then rolls down the window to offer them a gluten-free muffin as an apology.
* 13: The exit ramp keeps moving further away every time you get close to it.
* 14: A windshield washer Imp jumps on the vehicle, smears grease on the glass, and demands a tip.
* 15: The car's AC breaks, but only blows hot air that smells like artisanal cheese.
* 16: A massive "In-N-Out" sign appears. The line for the drive-thru blocks the entire highway for 3 miles.
* 17: The Carpool Lane. To use it, you must actually have a pool in your car.
* 18: A dragon flies overhead, but it's just towing a banner for a divorce lawyer.
* 19: The road turns into a "Smart Road." It critiques the driver's braking technique out loud.
* 20: You find a parking spot immediately! (It is a mimic. The parking spot eats the car).
21-40: Holly-Weird (Fame & Entertainment)
* 21: The Ambush Audition. A director points at a player and screams "Cry! Cry for me right now!" If they don't, they take Psychic damage.
* 22: A waiter drops a script into a player's soup. The soup is now "in development."
* 23: A flash mob of zombies performs "Thriller." They demand royalties if you watch.
* 24: A D-List celebrity (a goblin who was an extra in Sharknado) asks the party for a selfie.
* 25: The "Paparazzi Swarm." 50 floating cameras surround the party, blinding them. They ask, "Who are you wearing? Is it flayed skin?"
* 26: A producer offers the Bard a contract. The fine print says he gets 100% of their soul and they get a coupon for a smoothie.
* 27: A "Method Actor" demon believes he is a paladin and tries to "smite" the party with a rubber sword.
* 28: A tour bus full of damned souls stops. The guide points at the players and says, "And here we see 'The Nobodies' in their natural habitat."
* 29: The red carpet unrolls under the players' feet. It is made of tongues.
* 30: A street performer (a mime) traps a player in an invisible box. The box is real.
* 31: An award show starts abruptly. The players are nominated for "Worst Outfit." They win.
* 32: A "Writer's Strike" blocks the street. The picket signs are just blank pages.
* 33: A VFX glitch occurs. The players look like bad CGI for 1 hour (disadvantage on Charisma).
* 34: A famous influencer accuses the party of "stealing her look." Her followers attack.
* 35: A podcast host thrusts a microphone in a player's face: "What's your hottest take on the afterlife?"
* 36: The "Hollywood Sign" letters rearrange to spell "GIVE UP."
* 37: A casting agent measures a player's skull and shakes his head sadly.
* 38: A movie set blocks the road. The players are forced to be extras in a mayonnaise commercial.
* 39: Someone throws a drink in a player's face. It’s part of a reality show filming nearby.
* 40: The Reboot. The players encounter slightly younger, hotter versions of themselves who try to replace them.
41-60: Silicon Gulch (Tech & Startups)
* 41: The Pitch. A "Tech-Bro" Warlock corners the party. He won't let them leave until they invest in his app, "Uber for Exorcisms."
* 42: A player's weapon requires a "Firmware Update." It stops working for 10 minutes.
* 43: A drone drops a package on a player's head. It’s a box of "Soylent Green" (now with real people!).
* 44: An electric scooter gang ("The Disruptors") circles the party, buzzing like angry hornets.
* 45: The "Cloud" descends. It is a literal fog bank that steals your memories (data).
* 46: A player is "Cancelled." A giant red "X" hovers over their head, and shops refuse to serve them.
* 47: A robot dog follows the party. It has a gun mounted on its back but just wants belly rubs.
* 48: NFT Art Gallery. A gallery is empty. The art is "invisible." The price is 1 million souls.
* 49: A "Hacker" imp threatens to leak the players' search history unless paid 50 gold.
* 50: Everyone is forced to attend a "Stand-up Meeting." You must literally stand up for 4 hours.
* 51: A player's armor turns into a "Subscription Service." If they don't pay daily, it vanishes.
* 52: An "Angel Investor" appears. He is a literal Fallen Angel who invests in chaos.
* 53: The party enters a "Co-Working Space." The air smells like desperate ambition and stale coffee.
* 54: A Smart Fridge insults a player's weight.
* 55: The Glitch. A player clips through the floor and falls into the "Backrooms" for 1 round.
* 56: A "Visionary CEO" wears a black turtleneck and speaks in riddles. He steals a player's idea.
* 57: A "Beta Test." The gravity in the area is turned off to "test user engagement."
* 58: A swarm of nano-bots tries to "optimize" a player's face.
* 59: The "Terms & Conditions" scroll falls from the sky, crushing a bystander.
* 60: A player receives a notification: "Your free trial of Life has expired."
61-80: Venom Beach (Wellness & Body Horror)
* 61: The Juice Cleanse. A vendor sells green sludge. It grants +1 STR but causes uncontrollable crying.
* 62: A "Guru" levitates by. He claims he can open your "Third Eye" with a power drill.
* 63: Muscle Beach. A demon is lifting a bus. His muscles are so big they have their own muscles.
* 64: A yoga class is happening in a pit of hot coals. The instructor screams, "Namaste in the fire!"
* 65: A "Crystal Healer" throws a rock at a player. It deals 1d4 Bludgeoning damage (for healing!).
* 66: The ocean turns into Kombucha. It is slimy and smells like vinegar.
* 67: A shark wearing sunglasses tries to sell the players surfing lessons.
* 68: A "Sound Bath" occurs. It is just the sound of dial-up internet played at 100 decibels.
* 69: A player gets a sunburn that forms the logo of a sunscreen brand.
* 70: The Influencer Squad. Five succubi in matching bikinis are filming a TikTok. If you walk in the frame, you die.
* 71: A "Raw Water" fountain. It is just untreated sewage. It costs 10 credits a sip.
* 72: A "Spin Class" cycles past. The bikes are stationary, but the scenery moves (it's a treadmill floor).
* 73: A seagull steals a potion. It drinks it and grows human arms.
* 74: A bodybuilder asks a player, "Do you even lift, bro?" If they say no, he throws them.
* 75: Tanning Bed Trap. A tanning salon is actually a slow-cooker for cannibals.
* 76: A "Life Coach" follows the party, shouting motivational quotes that are actually insults.
* 77: A vendor sells "Organic, Free-Range Souls." They are more expensive but taste sadder.
* 78: A sandcastle contest. The sandcastles are actual fortresses inhabited by tiny crabs with spears.
* 79: A "Retreat" flyer invites players to a "Silence Workshop." It involves having your mouth sewn shut.
* 80: The sun gets 10% brighter. Everyone puts on a second pair of sunglasses.
81-100: Real Estate & The "California Dream"
* 81: The Open House. A beautiful mansion is open. The closet is a portal to the Abyss.
* 82: A realtor tries to sell the players a cardboard box for 2 million credits. "It has great airflow!"
* 83: The Roommate. A demon offers to share an apartment. He eats memories and doesn't do dishes.
* 84: A "Tiny Home" village. The houses are the size of dollhouses. You have to shrink to live there.
* 85: An HOA President (a Beholder) fines the party for "Walking with poor posture."
* 86: A "Fixer Upper." The house is actively trying to kill anyone who enters (haunted).
* 87: A "Gentrification Squad" of Elves arrives. They open a coffee shop, and the rent triples instantly.
* 88: A listing says "Ocean View." It’s a painting of the ocean taped to a brick wall.
* 89: A "Squatter" Goblin claims he owns the players' weapons because he held them for 5 seconds.
* 90: A wild fire breaks out. It is pink. It’s a gender reveal party gone wrong.
* 91: An earthquake hits. It only shakes the poor neighborhoods. The rich houses are on stabilizers.
* 92: A "Historic Landmark" plaque is placed on a pile of trash. You cannot move the trash.
* 93: A neighbor complains about the players' "aura" being too loud.
* 94: The Landlord. An Archdevil demands rent. He accepts payment in "Years of Life."
* 95: A pool party is happening. The pool is filled with Jell-O. You can get stuck and drown.
* 96: A "Smart Home" locks the players inside until they agree to rate it 5 stars.
* 97: A garden gnome comes to life and tries to enforce property lines with a shotgun.
* 98: A "Timeshare" presentation traps the players in a time loop. They relive the pitch until they buy.
* 99: The "Dream Home." It is perfect. But it is located in a volcano.
* 100: The Big One. The ground splits open. California finally breaks off and falls... into a deeper, worse Hell. (Everyone falls 30 feet).