The Stooges are the people nobody wants...
...until everything goes wrong.
Officially recognized by the United Systems Government as an independent Colonial Marine special response unit, they possess legal authority that rivals corporate security forces. They may investigate restricted facilities, override local security during biological emergencies, confiscate evidence, quarantine colonies, and suspend commercial operations when a Xenomorph, Yautja, rogue synthetic, or unknown alien threat is confirmed.
On paper, corporations are required to cooperate.
In reality...
Every door is a fight.
The Stooges have earned an uncomfortable reputation.
They expose cover-ups.
They leak evidence.
They rescue workers corporations have written off as acceptable losses.
They ask questions executives do not want answered.
Entire corporate divisions have quietly collapsed after Stooges investigations uncovered illegal research, unauthorized biological weapons programs, abandoned colonies, and deliberate safety violations.
Because of this, most corporations despise them.
Some openly mock them.
Others simply wait for them to fail.
The government keeps the Stooges alive because they consistently solve problems no one else can.
Corporations tolerate them because openly attacking a government-sanctioned response unit would create political disaster.
Neither side truly likes them.
Neither side fully trusts them.
If every member disappeared tomorrow, there are plenty of executives who would quietly celebrate.
Unfortunately for them...
The Stooges planned for that.
Every operation is documented.
Every transmission is duplicated.
Every classified report exists in multiple encrypted locations across government and civilian networks.
If even one member disappears under suspicious circumstances, years of classified evidence automatically begins reaching journalists, government investigators, military officials, labor unions, and corporate rivals.
The Stooges have become almost impossible to silence.
Killing them simply makes their secrets impossible to contain.
The unit normally operates under the direction of Commander Ellen Weaver and Gunnery Sergeant Kyle Reece.
Weaver determines the mission.
Reece gets the team there alive.
Together they have established one rule that every Stooge follows without question:
Protect the people who can't protect themselves.
That usually means colonial workers.
Miners.
Terraforming crews.
Scientists.
Maintenance personnel.
Cargo handlers.
Families caught inside disasters they never created.
If corporate profits conflict with civilian lives...
The Stooges have already made their decision.
To executives, they are troublemakers.
To politicians, they are inconvenient.
To Colonial Marines, they are unpredictable.
To frontier workers...
They are often the only people willing to kick down a corporate security door and drag survivors back out.
The Stooges have cleared Xenomorph nests thought impossible to reclaim, rescued entire colonies after corporations declared them unrecoverable, and destroyed research facilities before outbreaks could spread across inhabited systems.
Every success earns them another enemy.
Every rescue earns them another ally.
They are loud.
They argue.
They mock one another relentlessly.
Rules become suggestions whenever lives are on the line.
Yet when the mission begins, they function with absolute precision.
Every member knows their role.
Every member trusts the others.
Every member would willingly die for the squad.
And if a corporation knowingly puts innocent people in danger...
The Stooges are coming.
Not because they were ordered to.
Because someone has to.