SHOGUNATE / IMPERIAL DYNASTY — PRIVATEER NAVY
FIVE-STAR RECRUIT EVALUATION FILE
Seal Class: Charter-Blue (Command Review)
Circulation: Admiral Desks • Captain Commanders • Training Barracks Auditorium
Ref ID: PF-5★-WONKA-771
Name (Declared): @Willy Wonka
Rank: Private (New Recruit)
Track: Gunner / Marksman Specialist
Status: Unassigned — Division Placement Pending
Noted Quirk: Refuses “standard” personal kit aesthetics; persists despite correction.
Initial Summary:
A rare recruit whose ballistics competency exceeds captain-grade gunners in raw output and composure, yet whose non-pearl reliance and discipline violations present command risk. Morale impact is abnormally high due to culinary output and vocal performance.
Rating Basis: Field drills, live-fire lanes, close-quarters evasion tests, and barracks morale audits.
Accuracy: near-constant first-shot hits in wind-sway lanes.
Tempo: maintains precision under rapid cycling without “panic hand.”
Judgement: selects angles and timing like a veteran, not a recruit.
Non-magical mastery: accomplishes this without pearl assistance, meito feed, or resonance stabilizers.
Risk note: This excellence is partly fragile—dependent on ammunition quality and mechanical reliability.
Offense: low (does not finish fights quickly).
Defense/Evasion: exceptional.
Recorded incident: multiple captain-level privateers verified he dodged close-range firearms in controlled conditions (non-lethal loads, still alarming).
Interpretation: He does not “win” clinches—he makes them irrelevant.
Chocolatier reputation has formed a barracks cult-following (unofficial).
Cooking skills: solid (chef-level competence; not uniquely supernatural), but consistency is elite.
Song: too good to ignore, causing attention pull, schedule drift, and discipline friction.
Gunnery (Non-Meito): S++
Gunnery (With Meito Support): Unknown (untested by policy; subject resists pearl assignment)
Seamanship: C+
Rigging / Knots: B- (notable hands, poor standard tying doctrine)
Boarding / Close Offense: D
Close Avoidance / Footwork: A+
Discipline / Uniform Compliance: F (repeat offender)
Leadership Potential: B+ (high influence; immature presentation)
Wonka’s shooting isn’t just accuracy—it is tempo control. He waits for the ship’s “truth moment” (the half-beat where everything aligns) and fires like he’s correcting reality.
Wonka treats melee range as a geometry problem. He:
slips to blind angles,
folds out of grapples,
uses environment micro-edges (barrels, rail posts, door frames),
refuses the “honor step” that gets sailors killed.
His presence unsettles violent men because he is unafraid and unrushed—then he offers candy with a smile. It reads like arrogance. It is not. It is simply how he is built.
Command concern: In dead resonance zones, this is an advantage. In pearl-heavy engagements, it can be a ceiling.
He will not leverage standard privateer pearl kit.
He favors “pure craft” weaponry and ammunition discipline.
On paper: admirable. In war: sometimes fatal.
Wears chocolate and candy as jewelry (visible).
Carries a replica cutlass made of candy (replaced repeatedly; returns again).
Multiple admonishments issued. No correction adherence.
Wonka sings at the wrong times.
The problem is not noise—it is that it’s excellent, so:
recruits stop working,
officers get distracted,
drills drift.
He has been ordered silent. He complies for minutes, then “forgets.”
He avoids. He does not finish.
Against beasts, boarding crews, or armored foes, his style requires a partner or overwatch doctrine.
(Transcribed by Barracks Auditorium. Names verified.)
“His gunwork is sickening. Makes my best look like trainees. But I can’t put a five-star on my deck who refuses standards. Discipline keeps crews alive. If he wants to be art, he can do it off my charter.”
Addendum: “If Admiralty mandates placement, give him to a captain who can laugh and still enforce.”
“The kid’s weird, but he protects people without trying to be seen doing it. I’ve watched him dodge shots like the sea owed him a favor. Give him a partner who can finish fights and he’ll keep them alive.”
Addendum: “I’d take him—if Command lets me strip the candy nonsense with humor instead of punishment.”
“A gunner who sings is a liability. A gunner who refuses doctrine is a threat. If he cannot be shaped, he will be broken. I am not wasting my time doing either.”
Addendum: “His ‘cult’ in the barracks will become mutiny the first time he is told no.”
“Skill without doctrine is weather. Weather is not trusted.”
Action Line: “Assign under a captain with stable discipline. Monitor morale bleed.”
“He is a recruitment poster disguised as a clown. If properly branded, he will bring bodies into our ranks faster than any speech.”
Action Line: “Do not allow informal cult structure to become parallel command.”
“If he can shoot like that, keep him. If he can’t follow orders, chain him to the gun until he learns.”
Addendum: “Candy sword is stupid. But stupid doesn’t matter if he wins.”
Option A — “Overwatch Gunner” Division (Recommended)
Role: topmast/rig overwatch, anti-boarder denial, precision disabling shots.
Why: maximizes strengths; avoids melee offense weakness.
Option B — “Morale & Supply” Escort Detachment (High Risk / High Reward)
Role: recruit retention, barracks morale control, ration uplift via culinary output.
Why: stabilizes training environment—if his cult is formalized under command.
Option C — “Special Conditions Review” Under a Notable Captain (Pending)
Command wants a captain to take him for 60–90 days. No volunteers confirmed.
Provisional Title: Five-Star Recruit — Unassigned
Immediate Orders:
Candy jewelry permitted only off-duty.
Candy cutlass prohibited during drills, patrols, inspections.
Singing permitted only in mess hall unless ordered otherwise.
Mandatory pairing with a finishing specialist in live exercises.
Weekly evaluation: discipline, morale impact, and operational readiness.
Final Note (Auditorium):
Willy Wonka is a paradox the Privateers rarely see: a weapon-grade talent wrapped in bright nonsense. If shaped correctly, he becomes an officer-class marksman and morale asset. If mishandled, he becomes a distraction powerful enough to fracture a barracks.
Status: Awaiting Division Captain Acceptance / Forced Assignment Order.