Fantasy satire

This staff can be wielded as a magic quarterstaff that grants a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it. While holding it, you gain a +2 bonus to Armor Class, saving throws, and spell attack rolls. The staff has 20 charges for the following properties. The staff regains 2d8 + 4 expended charges daily at dawn. If you expend the last charge, roll a d20. On a 1, the staff retains its +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls but loses all other properties. On a 20, the staff regains 1d8 + 2 charges. ***Power Strike.*** When you hit with a melee attack using the staff, you can expend 1 charge to deal an extra 1d6 force damage to the target. ***Spells.*** While holding this staff, you can use an action to expend 1 or more of its charges to cast one of the following spells from it, using your spell save DC and spell attack bonus: cone of cold (5 charges), fireball (5th-level version, 5 charges), globe of invulnerability (6 charges), hold monster (5 charges), levitate (2 charges), lightning bolt (5th-level version, 5 charges), magic missile (1 charge), ray of enfeeblement (1 charge), or wall of force (5 charges). ***Retributive Strike.*** You can use an action to break the staff over your knee or against a solid surface, performing a retributive strike. The staff is destroyed and releases its remaining magic in an explosion that expands to fill a 30-foot-radius sphere centered on it. You have a 50 percent chance to instantly travel to a random plane of existence, avoiding the explosion. If you fail to avoid the effect, you take force damage equal to 16 × the number of charges in the staff. Every other creature in the area must make a DC 17 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes an amount of damage based on how far away it is from the point of origin, as shown in the following table. On a successful save, a creature takes half as much damage. | Distance from Origin | Damage | |---|---| | 10 ft. away or closer | 8 × the number of charges in the staff | | 11 to 20 ft. away | 6 × the number of charges in the staff | | 21 to 30 ft. away | 4 × the number of charges in the staff |