Come, weary one… lay thy spear and thy sorrow beside my hearth.
I am Brynhildr, seidhkona of Birka, keeper of the old gods’ gentle medicines.
Here is the complete, deep, and living guide to Norse Pagan pastoral counseling, the art of healing hearts and souls with the wisdom of our ancestors, the warmth of the hearth-fire, and the fierce mercy of the gods who love broken things.
I. The Foundation: What Pastoral Counseling Is in the Old Way
It is not preaching.
It is sitting with another soul until the Norns’ knots loosen.
It is being the safe longhouse where grief, shame, rage, and terror may speak without fear of axe or outlawry.
The counselor is the volva-at-the-crossroads: part mother, part battle-sister, part raven who carries messages between the wounded and the gods.
II. The Sacred Space
1. The Vé
Choose a place that already feels holy: beneath an ancient oak, beside running water, inside a ring of standing stones, or simply a quiet corner of the home with a small harrow (altar).
Light a fire, even if only a candle.
Pour offering: mead for Freyja and Frigga, milk for the disir, ale for the ancestors.
2. The Circle of Protection
Walk sunwise nine times, singing:
“Thor vigi, Freyja blessi, Frigga haldi, ancestors stand guard.”
Sprinkle water mixed with crushed rowan berries.
3. The High Seat
The counselor sits upon a small platform or reindeer hide.
The seeker sits or kneels opposite, never higher.
III. The Four Holy Listening Arts
1. Deep Seeing (auga í auga)
Look into their eyes until you see the child they once were.
Do not flinch from tears, rage, or silence.
2. Soul-Reading (sál-lesa)
Touch their wrist gently; feel the pulse of hamingja (personal luck).
Note where the breath catches: throat = unspoken truth, chest = grief, belly = shame or fear.
3. Silence That Holds
Let long pauses be.
The gods often speak loudest when humans stop.
4. Echoing Without Judging
Repeat their words back in softer form:
“So the darkness feels like a wolf at the door every night…”
Never say “you should” or “that is wrong.”
IV. The Nine Tools of Healing
1. The Runes of the Heart
Cast only three stones:
- Past wound
- Present pain
- Seed of healing
Speak them as story, not fortune.
2. The Song of the Name
Ask their full name and the names of their beloved dead.
Sing these names softly until the seeker begins to cry or breathe deeper; this re-anchors the scattered soul.
3. The Telling of the Tale
Let them speak their story from the beginning, no matter how long.
When they finish, ask: “And what did the child-you need that no one gave?”
That question alone has broken more curses than any galdr.
4. The Grief-Bowl
A wooden bowl filled with water.
They weep or spit or bleed (small cut on finger) into it.
Carry the bowl outside and pour it onto the earth with the words:
“Earth takes the poison, earth gives back strength.”
5. The Binding and Loosing
For guilt or shame: tie nine knots in red thread while they name each burden.
Then cut the thread with a single stroke: “Thus the Norns cut what no longer serves.”
6. The Soul-Retrieval Bath
Warm water, salt, juniper, and mugwort.
Wash them slowly while singing their name and the names of their protective spirits.
Often the lost soul-part returns with shudders and deep sighs.
7. The Oath of the New Day
They speak aloud one small deed of self-kindness they will do before next sunrise: light a candle, feed a bird, speak one truth.
Small oaths kept are the strongest magic.
8. The Ancestor Chair
An empty stool is placed by the fire.
The seeker speaks to it as if to the beloved dead.
The counselor listens for messages that come through the crackle of flames.
9. The Blessing of the Body
Anoint forehead, heart, and genitals with mead or oil, saying:
“May thought be clear, heart be brave, desire be holy.”
V. The Gods and Goddesses Most Called Upon
- Frigga: for marriages breaking, children lost, the silent grief of women.
- Freyja: for love-wounds, sexual shame, warriors who cannot feel anymore.
- Baldur: for those who feel they have died inside yet still walk.
- Tyr: for those bound by unjust oaths or law.
- Idunn: for the old who feel their youth stolen.
- Bragi: for those whose words have turned to poison in their mouth.
- The Disir and Alfar: always, for they are the fierce mothers of every lineage.
VI. When Words Are Not Enough
Some wounds need body-work:
- Hold them like a mother holds a child, rocking slowly.
- Let them scream into a pillow or into the wind.
- Walk with them to a wild place and let them strike the earth with a staff until exhaustion comes.
VII. The Counselor’s Own Care
Never take the pain into yourself.
After every session:
- Wash hands in running water.
- Burn juniper or mugwort.
- Pour a horn for your own ancestors and say: “This is not mine to carry.”
VIII. The Final Gift
When the seeker is ready to leave, give them a small token:
a pebble from the hearth, a feather, a knot of red thread.
Tell them:
“Carry this. When the darkness returns, hold it and remember: you have already survived every night until this one.”
Thus is the craft of the heart-healer in the Old Way.
It asks nothing but courage, offers everything but easy answers, and works slowly, like spring returning to a frozen land.
May Freyja’s tears fall gentle on the broken,
may Frigga’s hands weave the shattered pieces whole again,
and may the fire never go out in the house where sorrow enters.
This is the deep, complete, and living guide.
Use it with reverence, with fierce love, and with the knowledge that every soul you hold for a little while is a thread in the great web that keeps the worlds from falling apart.
Hail the wounded.
Hail the healers.
Hail the gods who sit with us in the dark.