THE CLOUDLIGHT CATERING MENU

THE CLOUDLIGHT CATERING MENU

“A feast should feel like a festival — even if it’s just lunch.” — Porky Darl

Filed Under: HavenReach Culinary Guild Registry — Master Caterer License #001

I. Introduction

When Porky Darl caters an event, it stops being an event and becomes a legend.

His catering menu is intentionally simple in variety but overwhelming in quality, relying on:

  • meats hunted personally,

  • produce grown in his private greenhouse,

  • and recipes so old he claims they’re “older than the first war.”

This menu is famous across HavenReach, Silvervale, and even Arkos — often called:

“The Feast of Seven Kingdoms”
(because seven creatures die for the meatloaf alone)

II. THE MIGHTY MEATLOAF

Seven Animals. One Monster of a Dish.

A towering loaf made from seven Veridian and Xratinian-region beasts — each chosen for texture, fat balance, and flavor depth.

The Meat Blend (lore-defined)

  1. Veridian Stoneback Boar – dense, mineral-rich meat with charcoal undertones

  2. Cloudgrazer Skysheep – soft, sweet fat marbled through lean cuts

  3. Mammoth (Southern Ridgebreed) – robust, iron-heavy flavor

  4. Wild Veridia Elk – tangy, aromatic, forest-bright meat

  5. Thornback Lizard – soft white meat with a citrus tang

  6. Jungle Strider Fowl – rich, oily bird meat akin to prehistoric duck

  7. Xratinian Ironhorn Ox – extremely lean, intensely beefy protein

Formed into a loaf weighing no less than 18 pounds, glazed with:

  • volcanic honey

  • cracked ember pepper

  • roasted garlic ash

  • fire-bark-smoked ketchup

When sliced, the cross-section shows seven distinct strata, each a different beast.

Tasting Notes (Michelin Style)

The Mighty Meatloaf doesn’t taste like a single dish — it tastes like the entire food chain. Each layer hits differently, from the delicate sweetness of the Skysheep to the thunderous mammoth richness.

III. PORKY’S PARADISE SALAD

“If sunlight had a crunch.”

Grown entirely in Porky’s private hybrid greenhouse — a patch of Veridia biome soil transported illegally into Silvervale.

Ingredients:

  • sky-lettuce (ultra-crisp, high-water leaves)

  • mist-peppers (sweet heat, no burn)

  • bloodroot carrot shavings (ruby red, sweet as candy)

  • glass-cucumber (clear flesh, watery crunch)

  • soulfruit vinaigrette (from a fruit that shifts flavor depending on the eater’s mood)

Notes: This salad is extremely popular with SVPD officers because it “doesn’t weigh you down during a chase.”

IV. PORKY’S SECRET COBBLER

Made with his genetically grafted fruit — “Darlfruit.”

Darlfruit is a biological miracle:
a grafted hybrid of

  • peach

  • plum

  • strawberry

grown through old-world horticulture, not modern biotech.

The fruit tastes:

  • sweet like strawberry

  • juicy like peach

  • tart like plum

The cobbler is baked in giant tin trays with:

  • brown sugar-butter crumble

  • a crust that’s halfway between cake and biscuit

  • warm syrup that glows faint red from Darlfruit coloring

Tasting Notes

Warm. Nostalgic. Reverent.
The first bite feels like childhood.
The second bite feels like sin.

V. “THE CHEST” — BAKED MACARONI TUB

The most dangerous carbohydrate event on Nova Prime.

A massive tin chest (Porky refuses to call it a tray) filled with:

  • triple-cheese blend

  • butter-crisped top layer

  • mammoth-fat béchamel

  • smoked salt

  • garlic crunch crumbles

  • spiral pasta (so the sauce clings like loyalty)

Serves 40 normal people
or 8 SVPD officers
or 1 Xratinian knight with a good appetite

VI. DRINK PROGRAM (Three Options)

🍶 1. Hunter’s Brew (Non-Alcoholic)

A deep, smoky malt beverage brewed from Veridian barley and honey.
Tastes like autumn and campfire stories.

🍹 2. Cloudlight Citrus Punch

Electric blue, sparkling, and very sweet.
Made from sky-citrus grown on mountain terraces.
Perfect for youth events, school parties, or SVPD celebrations.

🧊 3. Icewind Tea (Adults Only)

Created from glacial leaves harvested from Thaloras.
Served chilled.
Tastes clear, cold, and slightly numbing.

Pairs beautifully with meat.

VII. PRESENTATION STYLE

Porky doesn’t “cater.”
He deploys.

His food arrives in:

  • insulated metal tins

  • portable cast-iron racks

  • embossed crates with Cloudlight logos

He personally oversees plating.

If the event involves SVPD or FID staff, he also provides:

  • emergency rations

  • high-protein snack slabs

  • caffeine bricks

VIII. EVENT MODES

1. Civilian Catering

Families, schools, corporate gatherings.
Porky is friendly, loud, hilarious.

2. SVPD Catering

He switches to military mode.
Meals scaled to officer caloric needs.
Extra protein, fewer carbs.

3. Government or Aegis Catering

He brings backup staff.
Every item is scanned, sealed, and microtagged for security.

4. Xratinian Delegation Catering

He refuses payment.
Only asks for a story of battle in exchange.